My Experience at a Conference for Catholic Feminists
“But what really was the most beautiful was the sense of 400 women taking a deep breath because they knew that for one day, they didn’t have to fight. They didn’t have to walk the line between Catholic and feminist. They weren’t going to be called right-wing bigots or liberal morons. I’m sure there were many differences of opinion in that room, but we all had the same basic sense that we are desperately loved by God and called to promote the equal dignity of women and men” - Megan Hunter-Kilmer
I’ve called myself a feminist for probably about two or three years now. Openly, somewhat, in my social media profiles. Not as openly in my day to day conversations - it really depends on how comfortable I am with the person I’m talking to. I will share articles I’ve read on my Facebook feed, occasionally. I’d rather discuss issues in private FB messenger chats or in a private online forum.
Why? I’m proud of being a feminist, but my non-confrontational nature and loathing of faceless Facebook arguments shrinks from sharing that too loudly. I often feel like I am too quiet anyhow, if I did speak would anyone really care enough to actually hear what I have to say?
Saturday March 2nd, I stepped into a room with 400 other women who call themselves Catholic feminists and much like how Megan described, I took a deep breath and felt myself relax because here I didn’t have to be on guard. Here, I didn’t have to defend myself. Here, I didn’t have to bite my tongue because I overheard or read something that labeled all feminists as faithless, pro-choice, misandrists. Here, I could breathe freely.
It felt like coming to a family gathering. I didn’t have a chance to speak to more than a small fraction of the women present but it felt like I knew everyone there. Everyone was familiar. I looked around at all of the pregnant mothers, the mothers openly and beautifully breastfeeding their small children during the talks, the newly married wives, the single women, the older women, the younger women and I felt like I belonged. There was a strong, vibrant sense of community and joy and life.
There was no “subversive agenda”. There were no cries for the downfall of men and rants about the #patriarchy as we burned our bras. There was no women running around wild proclaiming that their husbands and boyfriends needed to get with the times and realize that women are the superior gender. I know, sadly, that there are many people who think we are like that. I wish that anyone who does could have come to see what I saw.
Women, speaking to women about the beauty of being a woman. Women speaking of the incredible ways in which our bodies are created and how we are uplifted by our biology, not chained and oppressed by it. Women sharing their intimate and personal experiences of being Catholic, of being single, of being married, of being wives and mothers and teachers and missionaries. Women celebrating the beauty of Catholic Church teaching and how it celebrates womanhood. Women getting beyond the surface of nearly cliche phrases like “feminine genius” and revealing the truth and the beauty that lays behind them. Women who were so varied in their different backgrounds and life experiences and still untied in their fire and passion for womankind and all humanity.
I shared briefly, quietly that since the 2016 elections and more recently with the countless stories of sexual abuse that have come out since August, that I am not entirely sure where I am in my faith. I grew up with a strong fire for my faith as a child but I am still navigating how to translate that faith into my adulthood. How can I love what the Church teaches while at the same time being dismayed and discouraged by the people that I see in the Church who don’t seem to really live what they say they believe? I was met with nods of understanding, and support, by women who knew exactly what I meant. Women whose hearts are also troubled and are going through their own journey of faith.
I left feeling inspired and renewed. I left knowing that I had to take my beliefs and convictions and start living them more openly. I don’t know how I will do that yet, but with the strength of so many women around me I know that I will be able to find my way forward and discover how I can share my gifts with the world. “Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.” - Saint John Paul II
I’ve called myself a feminist for probably about two or three years now. Openly, somewhat, in my social media profiles. Not as openly in my day to day conversations - it really depends on how comfortable I am with the person I’m talking to. I will share articles I’ve read on my Facebook feed, occasionally. I’d rather discuss issues in private FB messenger chats or in a private online forum.
Why? I’m proud of being a feminist, but my non-confrontational nature and loathing of faceless Facebook arguments shrinks from sharing that too loudly. I often feel like I am too quiet anyhow, if I did speak would anyone really care enough to actually hear what I have to say?
Saturday March 2nd, I stepped into a room with 400 other women who call themselves Catholic feminists and much like how Megan described, I took a deep breath and felt myself relax because here I didn’t have to be on guard. Here, I didn’t have to defend myself. Here, I didn’t have to bite my tongue because I overheard or read something that labeled all feminists as faithless, pro-choice, misandrists. Here, I could breathe freely.
It felt like coming to a family gathering. I didn’t have a chance to speak to more than a small fraction of the women present but it felt like I knew everyone there. Everyone was familiar. I looked around at all of the pregnant mothers, the mothers openly and beautifully breastfeeding their small children during the talks, the newly married wives, the single women, the older women, the younger women and I felt like I belonged. There was a strong, vibrant sense of community and joy and life.
There was no “subversive agenda”. There were no cries for the downfall of men and rants about the #patriarchy as we burned our bras. There was no women running around wild proclaiming that their husbands and boyfriends needed to get with the times and realize that women are the superior gender. I know, sadly, that there are many people who think we are like that. I wish that anyone who does could have come to see what I saw.
Women, speaking to women about the beauty of being a woman. Women speaking of the incredible ways in which our bodies are created and how we are uplifted by our biology, not chained and oppressed by it. Women sharing their intimate and personal experiences of being Catholic, of being single, of being married, of being wives and mothers and teachers and missionaries. Women celebrating the beauty of Catholic Church teaching and how it celebrates womanhood. Women getting beyond the surface of nearly cliche phrases like “feminine genius” and revealing the truth and the beauty that lays behind them. Women who were so varied in their different backgrounds and life experiences and still untied in their fire and passion for womankind and all humanity.
I shared briefly, quietly that since the 2016 elections and more recently with the countless stories of sexual abuse that have come out since August, that I am not entirely sure where I am in my faith. I grew up with a strong fire for my faith as a child but I am still navigating how to translate that faith into my adulthood. How can I love what the Church teaches while at the same time being dismayed and discouraged by the people that I see in the Church who don’t seem to really live what they say they believe? I was met with nods of understanding, and support, by women who knew exactly what I meant. Women whose hearts are also troubled and are going through their own journey of faith.
I left feeling inspired and renewed. I left knowing that I had to take my beliefs and convictions and start living them more openly. I don’t know how I will do that yet, but with the strength of so many women around me I know that I will be able to find my way forward and discover how I can share my gifts with the world. “Thank you, every woman, for the simple fact of being a woman! Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic.” - Saint John Paul II